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Surviving Valentine’s Day on a College Campus

Déjà vu: Valentine’s day is around the corner and you don’t have a Valentine! Or maybe you do, in which case I’ll speak on behalf of us single folk in saying, “Good for you, keep it to yourself.” BUT, Single College Folk (who I will now start referring to as SCF), this year is different, because this year Valentine’s Day falls on a Sunday.
*Collective sigh of relief* We love you, 2016!
Essentially, all the things you SCF might be doing on Valentine’s Day happen to be the things you would normally be doing on any given Sunday! Let’s say, however, you’re still not convinced that this is an amazing coincident. Well, I think ahead, so I made a Venn Diagram for all the visual learners and non-believers. Please direct your attention to the completely accurate and not at all biased graphic below:
Venn Diagram
 Now that you’re seeing the miracle that is Valentine’s Day in 2016, I’m going to make this even better by presenting some fool-proof responses for every SCF that get asked one of these:
 What are you doing for Valentine’s Day this year?
 Resist the urge to throw one of these:
eye roll
And instead respond with one of these:
1. I think… I think Valentine’s Day is on Sunday this year. Yeah it definitely is. I’ll be studying for my midterms. The joke’s on you, because while you’re wasting your time at an expensive dinner, I’ll be getting ahead on my work.

laughing 1


2. Hmmm. Valentine’s Day… the thought hadn’t crossed my mind considering it’s a Sunday. You’re the one who is weird for celebrating Valentine’s Day on a SUNDAY. I’m the sane one.

laughing 2


3. Oh you mean Sunday? I’ll probably be recovering from my crazy, amazing, single-driven Saturday night out on the town. Being single is a party, and I’m so sorry you can’t celebrate with me

laughing 3


4. I’ll be at (insert name of your local bar) enjoying Sunday Funday. I am a normal and fun college student and you a ridiculous person. Sunday is for casual drinks, not casual dates.

laughing 4


5. Valentine’s Day is a Hallmark Holiday driven by consumerism and people’s constant need for attention and validation. This one has nothing to do with Sunday, but it’s pretentious enough to bring any conversation to a grinding halt. That’s what you get for asking stupid questions.

laughing 5


In conclusion, my SCF, Sunday is our savior, and I have no idea what positive spin we can put on Valentine’s Day in 2017.

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