Oh hey, friends. Maybe you haven’t noticed, but the birth of America as an independent country is slowly approaching. And we have just one question for you…
Hell yes you! Because this is America, and we’re going to celebrate the 4th of July like we don’t have work tomorrow! Because we actually do have work the day after the 4th… ANYWAY. We are just as excited as you to act all American and do ~crazy~ stuff all in the name of our country. Just in case you forgot how to celebrate, we can break it down for you.
(INSERT TITLE OF LIST ABOUT THE 4TH OF JULY. WE LOVE LISTS!)
Friends! This should be easy, especially if you have pets. Gather all the breathing things that bring you joy and prepare them for a time and a half!
Water. Definitely not talking about drinking water. I mean swimming water. Size doesn’t matter (I got you, boys). If you can dip a toe in it, it’s swimming water!
Alcohol. I’m not up on my beer marketing at the moment, but I bet you there’s a company coming out with “America” themed cans. And is there anything that screams "America" more than a can of beer?!
Red, White, and Blue. If you like beer, I think I covered this in number 3. If not, run, with all your might, to Party City and pray that they aren’t sold out of their most patriotic decorations.
Firecrackers. SKICKS does not condone the use of illegal fireworks. They’re just on this list because they’re fun.
But wait, don’t do this. This is dumb. Don’t be dumb.
Blow-up items of any sort. Not fireworks. We’ve moved on from number 5. We’re talking about the things you blow air into and throw around until your attention span takes you elsewhere. I’m specifically thinking pool toys, which are IMPERATIVE to possess if you want to have a fun 4th of July. I don’t make the rules, I just parrot them back at you in blog format. GO BUY SOME BLOW UP FOOD TO THROW IN YOUR VARIOUS BODIES OF WATER!
And that’s the best 4th of July! You are guaranteed to have fun if you follow our rules. And if you don’t... I don’t know, that’s your fault. ANYWHO, have a Happy 4th, Everyone! Cheers to eating and drinking too much, because is there anything more American than that?